Bad Things and Good People

With the Olympics in full swing the media has shifted from the events in Colorado to the global gathering. But if you're like me your heart still aches for the families of those involved. You've also probably been left explaining how bad things happen to people. I find myself lucky that we don't have live TV and it's a little easier to filter the things the boys are exposed to, but that doesn't stop the inquiries. The whys about the ills of the world; why are people divorced if it's a sin, why would he shoot those people at a movie, and a thousand other whys just because Turkey has hit that age where everything is why.

I have to answer to their sensitive hearts, but the reality is pretty simple. We live in a world of sin. I'm not saying we suffer for the wrongs we've done though in some cases that's part of it. They know all about cause and effect and consequences. But sometimes people suffer for the sins of others just by happenstance. People went to a movie and someone else committed an act of hate. Sad and horrible.

"But why doesn't God stop it?" The BIG question, everything they know is that God is loving regardless of what we do provided we turn to him. They don't always grasp that He loves us so much He's given us free will. It's like spoiled rich children; if they are given everything without work there is little appreciation for what they have. And who wants to be micromanaged anyway?

"It's God's plan." This is a statement I hate hearing from people especially "Christians". My response to this is generally "Do you know anything about God?" God doesn't not plan for crimes to be committed, He doesn't plan for men to walk out on their wives and children, He doesn't plan for bad things to happen. He would never plan for people to act against His desires for us. However, He knows when they're going to happen and yes, he allows it, and the hope for us is then that we will learn from it that we need more than what is on this earth and we can rise above and move forward.

There's a book series by Piers Anthony called the Incarnations of Immortality. If you like fantasy/sci-fi you've probably read it and if not you should. I read it for the first time my freshman year of high school. Yes, I reread books, often until the pages fall off. But one of the repeated ideas in the books is that long ago God and Satan came to an agreement that they wouldn't interfere in human lives in the "contest" to win the most souls. God honored the agreement and is pretty hands off. Satan on the other hand has billboards and ad campaigns. It's a pretty accurate illustration of the world we live in. God whispers while the sins of this world are in your face yelling at you. Whether you believe in God or not I think it still applies. No matter how good you live your life you'll probably be caught in the cross fire of the poor decisions made by someone else. On the other hand I like to believe that those same people are on the business end of the light we have to offer the world.

I often feel like maybe it would be easier to stoop to the level of other people and play their game. Living ethically is hard work! But no matter how tired and battered I may be at the end of the day I can still look at myself in the mirror and I think that's worth it. My hope is that my children learn to hush the world and listen to a whisper and recognize that there is a difference between the will of God and the choice of man.

Monday Musings - Time Well Spent

Road trips across Nebraska are dull. There is something soothing about corn waves in the wind, but after the first 100 miles it soothes you right to sleep. It's nothing like driving in Alaska; sky, mountains, trees, water, flowers, etc. It's like Mary Poppinsing your way into a postcard. Barely outside of Lincoln I lose my favorite radio station and then half way to our destination my phone loses reception. AT&T is not the cell provider of choice in these parts. I drove child of the eldest variety to church camp this weekend. It's quite different than driving around with toddler child. I habitually pointed out cows and trains and crop dusters and he looked up from his book long enough to give me the tweenager eye roll. I lost some cool mom points, but overall it was nice to have some one on one time with him. He's going to have a great week. It's family tradition to go out there and of course experiences he doesn't have to share with his brothers are always nice.

The trip back was exciting having my gauge lights come on and stopping to add oil to the car and then getting stuck in stand still traffic. I was in park on the interstate. I did a couple crosswords while not moving along. I do enjoy all the old barns and farm houses we see. One of these days I'm going to stop and take pictures along the way. Of course once it starts to get dark all those cool old structures take on a new aura. I'm seen Children of the Corn and they can be down right spooky! We'll be making the trek again next weekend.

Today I ran errands with the rest of the boys. They're such troopers when it comes to fabric shopping. Toddler child has the greatest imagination and it's hard not to get caught up in his excitement sometimes. We played swords and guns while getting our fabric cut and I'm quite sure we made the day of the clerk helping us. she just kept laughing. For me it's freeing to not worry about the world around us and just share in his interest "you have a gun and I have a sword". To see shelves as barriers and tiles as land mines and that no matter where you go your fingers can be a gun or a sword and hearing him say "en garde" is just happy making. I hope that they remember that mom was always willing to play and that when they grow up they too drop everything and enjoy the moments like this with their own kids.

Roadtrip funny: I love Friends! Yea, it's great to have people you think are fab who accept you regardless of your neurosis, but I'm talking about the TV show. Man I married and I used to have this theory that everything in life could be related to an episode of Friends. Anyway, in the episode "The One With the Stoned Guy" it was Chandler's responsibility to take care of the WENUS (Weekly Estimated Net Usage Statistics). So I got a chuckle when I saw this:

Ok, the spelling is wrong, but it still made me think Friends.

Mom, it's the New Dad

You may remember that a couple months ago I was having a bit of a personal crisis over whether or not I was "man" enough to turn my little boys into Godly men. And in that time I've worked out my doubts and in recent weeks have never felt more confident in my parenting abilities. Living in a world that is in the shape ours is in more and more women are rearing children with absent fathers. Even married couples have men who are lacking in the leading father department.

With the boys out of school for the summer the quality time we've spent together has taught me a bit about myself. I have what it takes. I'm not afraid to get dirty, I know how to blow things up, and explore the mechanics of why things happen. I can cuddle on the couch, but I can tumble on the floor too. Showing the boys how to do handstands and flipping them through the air I realized that we're lucky. Maybe it was my having a father who wanted boys and treated us the same as one. Or maybe it was the years with the man I married, learning from him what makes boys tick. Or maybe just the affirmation from this Sunday's service telling me that it's not only ok, but it's my duty to pick up where dad has left off.

So I turn the slide into a water slide by setting the sprinkler next to it and we add popcorn Friday to the calendar. We "shoot" each other with sticks and we have sword fights and at the end of the day we pile into a tent in the backyard and watch lightening bugs and listen to crickets and feel at ease with where we are and how we're doing it.

Will They Be Courageous?

I watched Courageous this weekend. And I'll admit I cried through most of it. I know I'm the type of parent who would hold on to a moving vehicle if my child was being taken. And there is nothing in this world that could ever be more important than my kids no one that I'd rather have in my life, nothing that could make me happier than them and if I had to be on a schedule to have them in my life it would take an act of God to keep me away.

Then I wonder what sort of a disadvantage they now have b/c they no longer have a strong father on earth to lead them and guide them and set an example to be a man after God's own heart. As a mother it's often hard enough to do your own job let alone fill someone else's shoes. And then it makes me sad, not only for my own children, but to the children of the world. When did we become a society of self gratification, where our own immediate desires outweigh our families, where it's more acceptable to walk out on your family and find a replacement wife/husband than to admit you're struggling and get help, where our children mean so little that people will get into debt up to their eyeballs to have the newest phone, fastest car, biggest house, but scoff at the thought of paying child support, so their kids become reliant on social programs? How is it that if someone fights for the sanctity of marriage and the value of family that they are the crazy ones? When did standing up for what's right become wrong? I realize that there are people in this world see the dangerous path the world is one, but it seems more and more those people are in the minority. And I'm not talking religion. My faith is mine, but right and wrong go deeper than theology. How is it that half naked women are plastered on televisions every commercial break and yet breastfeeding women are forced into bathroom, and dressing rooms and dark corners for doing what nature designed them to do?

Is it enough to feed them and cloth them, keep a roof over their head and give them what little time you have in a day, to tell them that what's expected of them in the grand scheme is great than what the world expects? Am I a bad mother for leaving the dinner dishes and instead make a new mess building towers before bed? If the floor isn't mopped each night have I failed for the day? Are my children missing something because they aren't enrolled in half a dozen extracurricular activities? Is it enough to spend an afternoon at the park or a morning at the library? Would they have a "better" life if we had more money becasue I worked outside the home and left them to child care?

I never thought we were perfect. Maybe perfect for the life we shared. But is that time enough to carry my boys through to become men like the man they once had as an example or will they be undone by the deck they've now been dealt and what the world says is okay because only my voice echos that they are more?